Wooden Canes and Passing Time
You recently had knee surgery and on a rather long road to full recovery, which means you get to walk around using nifty wooden canes and other fancy canes. This is great because you think the canes look cool plus you look rather distinguished using one.
But you can’t spend a whole lot of time strolling the mall or your neighborhood streets because there is still pain involved and the doctor told you to take it easy for the time being.
So, you are just basically sitting around the house binge-watching crappy shows on Netflix and playing Legend of Zelda on your Xbox, for the 47th time.
And then, right in the middle of an episode of Malcolm in the Middle, you realize you are bored out of your mind. You need something to do before you start pulling the hair from your already balding head.
Here are a few things you can do to pass the time while your knee recovers.
There are any number of things you can do to help the time pass. For example, you can blink real fast for 30 seconds and then close your eyes really tight to view a very interesting light show. Try it.
Inhale as deep as you can and see how long you can hold a note. Do this several times and before you know it, an hour has passed you by.
Close your eyes and try not to think about penguins. This is a tough one because the second you forget about penguins, you don't remember exactly what you were doing. If you fail, you spend the next six hours thinking about penguins, or, perhaps, one penguin in particular.
Repeat the same word out loud until it has lost all of its meaning and just becomes garbled gibberish. Then say “garbled gibberish” until it becomes a phonetic mess and you want to stab ice picks in your ears.
Make noises from the Star Trek series. You remember the noise the doors made when Kirk, Bones or Spock would go through them. Think about it for a minute and then try making those very same door opening noises.
Then recall the noises the communicators made when flipped open and copy those sounds. When you have mastered all of the funky, space-like sounds of Star Trek, move on to Star Trek: The Next Generation and so on.
Adopt a weird twitch while you are out having a meal at Burger King. If you do it well enough, you might get a free meal for your efforts.
You could also head to the public library and with a straight face, make a low buzzing noise, a continuous buzzing noise. Look around from time to time to see you is reacting to it and who is ready to pounce on you and glue your mouth shut.
If you are really bored, you can practice your Jedi mind tricks. But first, you must fully believe in The Force for this to happen.
Are you still thinking about penguins?
Lastly, read your favorite comic book in Morgan Freeman’s voice. And then go back and read this article in Morgan Freeman’s voice.